Underneath all this muck and shit, lies a flicker.
You probably think it’s just a broken mirror.
But as the dust clears and the sun shines one day,
You’ll see what lies under is indeed a diamond.
It’ll make you cry until your heart bleeds,
’cause you’d realize the diamond is what your life needs.
Underneath all this muck and shit, lies a flicker.
If I say something, you’d quote it against me.
If I do something, you’d hold it against me.
If I emote, you’d know my weakness.
If I don’t, you’d think I’m heartless.
I love those eyes that loved me,
If those eyes were to become judging,
Where will I hide from love?
Search for daddy’s arm.
Crawl over from mommy’s side towards arm.
Snuggle close to daddy.
Rest head on shoulder.
This is sonny’s routine at around 630 everyday. He doesn’t really wake up or wake anybody up. But like clockwork he does this everyday. We proceed to sleep like this till 730. Him sleeping cozy and me feigning sleep so that he remains so.
Well, I don’t know whether my days are really unremarkable or whether this brilliant event in the morning makes the rest of the day fade, but I’d take it any number of days in my life.
Blogging from my phone.
My dear friend from so many years ago, has written something after such a long time. Just to keep him going and to appreciate the beauty of his words, I encouraged myself to write my first 4 lines of ‘poetry’. Keep rocking, Schumi
Here is a fighter, brave to scale the fence,
Here is a maker pouring out his pain
With courage in his heart, victory will be his, hence
Dear Creator, let his pain get its deserved gain.
There are so many ways to express one’s talent. This fellow chose the doors of a toilet. Sheer genius.
My knuckles are so white. The blood has been completely drained out. I dont know how fast I’m going or where too. There are things that deserve more attention than the trivial details about the destination. But I know this road well. I’ve taken it so many times before in my life and frankly I am bored of this journey. Its only the rage that makes it worthwhile. The journey is far too familiar.
My knuckles are so white and I dont know why. I dont know whether its me holding the bike steady or me holding on for dear life. I know I have no right to say it now, but I can hold my emotions well. But this rage, this rage about how I’ve allowed things I dont have control over, take control over my life and distort it beyond recognition.
Oh wait, I have a tear on my cheek. Surely, it must be because of the speed I am travelling at. It cant be tears of anger, definitely not one borne out of sadness. I’ve had my moments when I have indeed shed tears of sadness and rage, but those days are long gone. I have come to terms with the fact that THIS is my life and I am not the only one in control here. What the heck, I am the one with the least control over it.
I’ve grown old enough to know the things that can be done still and the those that cant be undone. I know I wont get another life to live things the way I want to. I’ve cried and hurt myself enough. But what I have done better than that is pull up my socks and getting on with it.
And thats the least I expect of people around me. I dont want sympathy from you. I dont even want you to grow up, I just want you acknowledge the fact that I’ve grown up and that I’ve moved on. Just let me be. And if you have touched my life in someway, I am not angry with you. I am just angry with myself that I let you do it. I’ve made peace with you and with myself.
I can see the ocean in the horizon, feels like I am finally home. Or somewhere close to it. There is a strong wind that blows across my face. The solitary tear is dried up now. The wind has blown so much away in my life, including anger and rage. I lift my head up and ride into the wind, Again.
- Between 11 June and 11 July 2010, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World of Soccer, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
- During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).
- If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don’t mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me.
- During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on the floor….It won’t happen.
- It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on (excluding your body parts), and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
- Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say “get over it, it’s only a game”, or “don’t worry, they’ll win next time”. If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called “words of encouragement” will only lead to a break up or divorce.
- You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the half time scores is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying “one” game; hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to “spend time together”.
- The replays of the goals are very important. I don’t care if I have seen them or I haven’t seen them, I want to see them again, Many times.
- Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because: a) I will not go, b) I will not go, and c) I will not go.
- But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
- The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying “but you have already seen this…why don’t you change the channel to something we can all watch?” because, the reply will be, “Refer to Rule #2 of this list”.
- And finally, please save your expressions such as “Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years”. I am immune to these words, because before and after this comes the Champions League, Premier League, Italian League, Spanish League, KPL, FA Cup, Euro Cup, etc.
P/S By the way if you get stuck on the road call the Police or AA. Thank you for your cooperation.
Copy pasted from here
This a poem by William Henley, written from his hospital bed, after had been amputated below the knee. So inspirational. If you happen to read it when you are feeling low and tears well up in your eyes, you are excused. Hold your head up
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.